Syringes and Strange Drivers

There are many ways in which as an expat you could be sceptical towards the education system here in China. One being the sheer the difference in the approach of learning in China, with it being more exam focused rather than focusing on practical life skills. During my time here, I’ve seen a wide range of different teaching styles, from ruthless, robotic rote teaching to the more open “let’s try and educate our students to question things” approach. Unfortunately the latter is harder to come by due to many reasons that I presume mainly stem from politics or traditional Chinese hierarchal ways of thinking, particularly in the north of the country.

In spite of this, this morning saw my first ever direct experience of the use of a syringe (minus the needle) to maintain order and discipline in the classroom. I had been having trouble with a class that features in my three time a week newly acquired kindergarten gig, and asked one of the senior Chinese teachers for some advice on discipline. This was mainly concerning one particularly disruptive kid with the ability to cause domino effect patterns of chaos to what is normally a reasonably well behaved class. I explained to the Chinese teacher that the kid was causing problems in the class, and she responded by stating “he is really naughty, but he’s afraid of injections”. She then proceeded to find a syringe, (which I presume was not stored for medical purposes but for last gasp disciplinary measures) then filled it up with water, and finally squirted the naughty toddler with projectile aqua (which is French for water). After its apparent effectiveness, she continued to be on syringe standby should he, or any other daring preschooler dare to misbehave in any way deemed unfit for this lady with an interesting passion for using primitive water fight techniques to bring order to a class. If any of the must haves of the 90s was needed now, it’s surely the Super Soaker 500. I don’t claim to be a child psychologist or anything, though I can see how methods drawing on a kids fear of injections to gain short term control of an unruly attitude could be detrimental to their mental well being. Though I can say, as a novice in controlling mental kids that frequently run recklessly into a particularly precious area, I’m still open to suggestions. Anyone familiar with such experiences, suggestions are welcome should you be reading this.

Sit down or I'll vaccinate you

After the fun is over, I usually feel pretty fresh from my work out of being paid to jump around with 4 year olds (yes Daily Mail, it’s what I do and surprisingly I’m not a paedophile), and can enjoy the rest of the day off in the lovely warm weather than Beijing is currently having. The driver who drives me to and from the Kindergarten always holds interesting conversations however, mostly maintaining an interest in Western practices and customs, questions which I’ve answered countless times since being in China though he can’t be blamed for his curiosity. We entered into controversial waters the other day though, as he brought up the topic of the British Empire by stating that British people look down upon other countries in an arrogant manner, and love to bully weaker countries. Although I’m usually pretty switched off and looking forward to getting home at this time, I was a bit shocked. I went to say that although Britain had committed some pretty despicable acts during the days of the Empire, some countries did benefit from the introduction of democracy, economic development and social welfare. I pointed out Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong as examples. He then retorted with “that’s your Imperialist education teaching you those things, but all you did was bully weak countries!”

My inclination was to go down the route of either saying “open your eyes” and look at the above mentioned countries current situations, or responding with “what about China bullying others with it’s claims over The Philippines/Taiwan/Tibet?” I perhaps rather foolishly choose the latter, though luckily my risk of offending him deeply was met with a simple “Eh?” as if such to question such matters was a completely alien concept. I stopped there and didn’t want to get into that can of worms, though it was certainly the first time I’ve experienced this kind of opinion in such a direct manner, though I was aware of its existence prior to this. Chinese people are generally pretty humble, though there is a theory that a key element to some of the Chinese people’s psyche is the idea of 弱者心态, which basically translates as inferiority complex or small man syndrome. This attitude stems from centuries of China being invaded, raped and pillaged by numerous other nations, though now, with China finding its way in the world, many want to prove its not weak anymore and will actively stand up against such foreign oppression, be it legit or not.  After swallowing my pride and trying not to get too offended by his claims, he went on a wild America bashing rant, mentioning some recent football match between the US and China where an American player refused to shake the hand of a Chinese player after being fouled. All I had to do then was be the typical foreigner in China nod and smile as he barked away, simultaneously meandering around the Beijing traffic as the cotton seeds that dominate the Beijing skies at present floated romantically around our surroundings, under a beautiful blue smog free spring sky.

Let's just all be friends shall we?

New Kindergarten Classes/Thoughtful Reading

With the recent addition of this three times a week early morning kindergarten lessons, my teaching schedule has been somewhat packed of late. Should I be complaining? Probably not as I am working a full time job that requires me to teach a now whopping 26 hours a week, and although one could argue that teaching hours require more mental and physical energy than office hours (depending, of course on the job), it’s a different world compared to the usual forty hour week. Anyway, this recent injection of pace into my professional life has certainly made me treasure my days off and not mull around on a supposed “working day” spending time rather unproductively waiting for the time when I have to reluctantly venture out for my sole 90 minute evening class. Teaching is also a job where you’re often required to take your work home with you, and I’m one of those people who like to get all my planning and marking done first so I can have stress free gratification of what is essentially one single day off a week after all the paper work mentioned above is taken care of. Suffer first and then be joyful afterwards, perhaps a Buddhist approach that is also mentioned in “Roads Less Travelled”, not a poem by Robert Frost, but a book on human fulfilment and spiritual development by psychiatrist Scott Peck which I initially thought was one of those Bill Bryson-esque quirky travel books, hence leading me to buy it. It wasn’t, though it’s proving an interesting food-for-the-soul read anyway. These types of books seem to be everywhere in China, both in English and Chinese, with authors like Peck and Malcolm Gladwell appearing in almost every street seller of pirated books, right next to those directly titled self-help books  such as “How to Talk to Anyone” and “How to Make Friends and Influence Others”.

Anyway back to my point about my recent attempts to make use of my spare time. I’ve just got back from Beijing’s expat exhibition, where various companies and organisations set up stands and smother you generously with brochures, key rings and pens as they try to pitch their product. It was quite a pleasant experience though, not what you would normally imagine given China being a place with quite a few people, and we were able to glide effortlessly through the stands, with the main aim being the curry stall. My girlfriend was there on professional duty doing research for her boss on various education companies, though I just hung around chatting to various expat company representatives whilst conspicuously eyeing their rubber bouncy balls imaging the possibilities annoying my neighbours playing one man dodge ball by rebounding the balls off the walls of my apartment. Apart from the cheap and delicious curry, the highlight of the morning was chatting to a Beijinger who was promoting wine by giving out free samples of Californian chardonnay and biscuits. We switched between Chinese and English whilst chatting, though it took me a while to pinpoint his English accent, though it turned out he studied in New Zealand. I revelled by sipping on my wine whilst listening to his mixture of northern Chinese English (which swings towards an American style) and his Kiwi accent, which in terms of uniqueness and unpredictability, blows South African English out of the water. Lovely guy though, and he’ll be certainly getting visits by us in the future if we ever want 20% alcohol wine. Yeah I was tipsy at 10am after sampling that stuff… living the dream.

The international atmosphere was pretty friendly, and I was surprised by encountering a group that organises Celtic themed evenings, with Irish bands, tug of wars and so on included in the festivities. The Welsh flag was featured on the brochure, though as an ashamed half-Welshman who doesn’t really know what we would do during such events, (insert sheep joke here?) I didn’t ask any questions and signed up for notification about coming events.

It's not just about sheep...

It was nice finding out about these organisations that were until this morning were unknown to me, goes to show how much Beijing has to offer. After just missing the chance to appear on a bilingual radio station at the exhibition, I did put my name down to appear as a guest host on their chat show, and should it come to pass, I’m going to have to be on my best behaviour to avoid being a Mandarin speaking Alan Partridge broadcasting to the ears of locals and expats alike. Might go down well though, who knows- “This evening’s hot topic is which is the best rice? Is it a) Chinese, b) Thai, or c) Condoleeza?” We’ll be taking your calls right after…Ruddy hell, it’s Soft Cell”. Classic Partridge.

Ahaaaaa!

25 and feeling not any older

Beijing has certainly been in my good books of late. In some strange phenomenon that challenges the many opinions held by many Western expats and news bodies across the world, we’ve seen nothing but blue skies and clear, sunny days for near on three weeks now. The warm, pleasant weather has certainly brought that usual summery lift to my mood, especially considering it was cold and grey barely a month ago. My first day where the Beijing thermometers hit the mid-twenties was spent with me being a little over excited, forgetting that beer at 1pm coupled with sunshine equals lethargy, which left me reluctant to move for the rest of the day. I’m continuing the fashion of not learning from many of life’s mistakes by repeating this feat of sitting outside a café in warm weather getting slowly drunk in the afternoon; which I must say is certainly helping these words roll out from my often uninspired brain onto the computer.

Had a decent birthday last week, which began with my official entry into the 21^st century by getting a smart phone, HTC of course, as I’m far too special for those common Iphones. It was a sweet present which was made even sweeter by the way it given to me, as Simone decided to kidnap by old beloved (yet dying) Motorola whilst I was deeply focused on a Pro Evolution soccer game, changed the SIM card into the new phone, and wrapped it up in a secret location in the flat. Having realised my phone was missing, I entered a state of being somewhere between panic and confusion, called my phone from Simone’s own, heard an unrecognisable ringtone, and eventually located it hidden in a drawer. Great present! Though the touch screen pad still confuses my fat fingers. The birth “day” quickly snowballed into a birth “week” due to various work commitments, though I was able to celebrate it properly with the usual Sunday night gathering after work with several of my dearest in Beijing. Working as an English teacher does certainly require you to take on a schedule which seems to prevent English teachers form mingling with the rest of society as we often work on weekends, with the conventional Friday night out of shenanigans and mischief occurring on a Sunday. Sorry god.

Thou shalt not get pissed on Sunday

Up until recently I have had a pretty relaxed schedule, working intensely on the weekends with a lesson here or there in the evenings on weekdays. Now however, I have been required to teach a Kindergarten which has recently signed a contract with my school, meaning I have to be up at 6.30 every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to be picked up and taken to this school for lessons starting at 8.30 and ending at 11.30. I say picked up, though the first couple of days left me waiting for an hour while the driver navigated his way around the terrors of the Beijing rush hour, and with me having to direct him to his own school the first few times we went. As I mentioned, my work schedule does, for better or for worse, allow to me live relatively outside the normal 9-5 slog, though this new job at the Kindergarten has exposed to me to the true nature of Beijing’s rush hour at full flow. The first days I saw several incidents such a guy being knocked off his bike by a car followed by a brief argument while the poor guy was still lying on the floor, and a car driving in front tailgating another car which led to the inevitable bump as the car in front stopped, and the two drivers simultaneously opening their doors almost in sync as they got out to quarrel in the middle of the motorway. The pick of the bunch however was seeing a bus, which had seemingly driven through a barrier on an intersection on an elevated motorway, and had crashed down onto the grass about twenty five feet below. Judging by the amount of debris and the absence of the emergency services, we’d obviously missed this by a few minutes, though it was pretty horrific driving past the wreck of the bus with all its smashed windows and possibilities of people being trapped inside. Accidents like this happen all the time in China, and go frequently go unreported save for online social websites spreading the stories around the net. Still goes to prove that even after three years there are some things here that don’t take much to shock me, in both good and bad ways.

Fallen through a barrier? You ain't seen nothing till you've had a bomb on a bus

Having these ongoing experiences whilst in China, plus a discussion with a local Beijinger about China’s ups and downs, has led me to start writing an article about things I love and loathe about China, and maybe I’ll start posting it bit by bit on Facebook or similar sites should anyone be interested to have a peek. I found that writing the bad points took up much more word space that the good points, though I feel a lot of the negative things here need explanation as there are often relatively legit reasons behind them. Anyway writings like this can offer a different perspective on China rather than those BBC articles which constantly highlight it’s downfalls from the eye of a developed democratic nation; Beijing correspondent Damian Grammaticas being a prime example of this, with article headings such as:- Are China's leaders worried? Welcome to the Beijing smog ,China's pollution, Held 'hostage' by China, When words are crimes in China, Confronting the China challenge, China's critical poor gather to watch premier, Damaging coup rumours and so on.